The Daily Tabloid

I am convinced my daily newspaper is contorting itself into a tabloid. The realization has been gradual. Royson James has been a beacon of gloom for some time. He has a daily column and presents as an expert on all things municipal. No reference is offered for his expertise. Nothing he writes reveals familiarity with the workings of any city in Ontario.

He recently offered ten bullet points to resolve the city's financial woes. Raising taxes was not one. It seems Toronto has a real aversion to raising property taxes to pay for needed services. Apparently they do not care for user fees either.

James first suggestion was for elected officials to surrender their perks: free passes to the zoo and city golf courses. He acknowledges giving up "freebies" would not save much. It would be a symbolic. Well hell, it's numbers that make the bottom line, not symbols.

How many times does a person visit the zoo? Why does the city own and operate golf courses? Shirley Hoy, city manager, says they will close a month early to save money. Why not sell the golf courses, make a few million and save a whole lot of money?

The paper had another story recently, complete with picture; a man with a baker's tray full of chinese dumplings. The dumplings were said to be filled with ground up corrugated cardboard laced with toxic stuff for flavour. I was horrified. A couple of weeks later, on an inside page, it was revealed the dumpling story had been a hoax . A Chinese reporter had gone to jail for reporting it. The Toronto paper however had printed it.

The final fable was about an American study of seniors’ sexual activity. It seems seniors had told researchers that x number between the ages of 75 and 85 years old are giving or receiving oral sex x times a month.

The fact these were face to face interviews was offered to verify the accuracy of the study. The story ended with a quote from Dr. Ruth, a seventy-nine year old sex therapist who gained fame from her frank, free, and joyful discussion of sex. She told the reporter she never answers personal questions.

That left me to imagine a group of anonymous seventy-five to eighty-five year olds being questioned by an earnest, youthful researcher about whether and how often they had given or received oral sex.

"Oh sure. Of course. We seniors are as hip as you juniors. How many times d'you think?"

Wink wink. Nudge nudge. How's your father

Today is the day I cancel my subscription to the Daily Tabloid. I need to be able to believe what I read. I have never subscribed to the Toronto Sun. I cancelled the Globe and Mail when it started emulating the Sun. The National Post never appealed. As much as I like turning pages, from now on I intend to choose what I read from outlets on the internet.